My next brush with marriage occurred in my mid-20s, with my Brazilian boyfriend. A few months later, the subject of a real marriage—and kids—came up."I want six," he said.
I wanted none but told him I'd compromise on two if we could have a nanny raise them."Ok," he said, "but we have to raise them Catholic." This mortified me."I'm Jewish, so by Jewish law, my children are Jewish too. Anyway, you don't even practice your religion.""But my mother will insist that they be raised Catholic." Needless to say, I didn't marry Marcelo—or have his children.
So I thought I’d tell you about the experience men have when they’re trying to “date like a grownup.” If you’ve read my e Book, you know that I believe strongly that empathizing with men is absolutely essential to your dating and relationship success.
The definition of empathy is “the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person’s feelings.
This may be due to them living elsewhere on a permanent basis or a short-term solution such as childcare (Australian Institute of Family Studies, 2011).
I babysat him most days because both my parents worked, and once—when I was 12 and he was 8—he chased me down the hall to my bedroom brandishing five knives in his hand.
When he wasn't flying into a daily rage over one thing or another, he was at my heels like a puppy dog begging for my attention—not exactly behavior that would encourage me to want a child of my own.
There is also my brother, who had "issues" as a child.
My mother says that she distinctly remembers me storming into the house after babysitting the neighbors' kids and announcing angrily, "I'm never getting married and I'm never having kids."Only once has my decision not to have children wavered ever-so-slightly, but know it wasn't one babysitting incident gone awry that has kept me fairly steadfast in my resolve.