Yet many aren’t aware they’re emotionally unavailable, too. Big and Carrie Bradshaw) disguises your problem, keeping you in denial of your own unavailability. Although people complain about their problems, many have even more difficulty accepting the good. Do you have secrets you’re ashamed of that make you feel undesirable or unlovable? Do you usually like to keep your options open in case someone better comes along? Do you fear a relationship may place too many expectations on you, that you’d give up your independence or lose your autonomy?
Others temporarily make something a higher priority than a relationship, such as a family obligation, education, project, or a health concern. Secrecy, evasiveness, or inappropriate questions too soon about money or sex, for example, indicate a hidden agenda and unwillingness to allow a relationship to unfold. Once the relationship gets real, they’ll sabotage it. Most people reveal their emotional availability early on. Right, yet is emotionally unavailable, you’re left with nothing but pain. If so, you may need to heal from past wounds before you’re comfortable getting close to someone. However, marriage or couples counseling can change the relationship dynamics and help you to have a more fulfilling intimate relationship.
He cancels plans, he goes MIA for days at a time, he acts distant.
At the root of it, the same sense of insecurity that made the guy obsessed with finding out if you like him is now scaring him into thinking that you’re going to “take his freedom away.” Generally speaking, most guys have a fear of being “trapped” in a relationship, but in this particular scenario you’re dealing with a guy who’s actions are especially dictated by avoiding unpleasant situations as a primary motivator.
Now while you might start getting really excited by this prospect, this particular guy has probably gotten freaked out.
At this point, he’s afraid that everything he said in the beginning has led you to believe that you guys are a couple and he starts acting in a way that shows you this is not the case.