My definition is a very simple one: “codependency” occurs when we put other people’s needs ahead of our own on a fairly consistent basis.
In truth, when we are codependent, we are also people-pleasers who will go to virtually any lengths to avoid unpleasant conflict with others.
When it comes to delaying gratification, when it comes to "choosing" between "one step at a time" versus "all at once," thinking in terms of gradual and taking time to develop and being objective and realistic are not how addicts are wired. Most recovering addicts don't realize that admitting to being out of control and surrendering to their powerlessness, as having done so in Steps I and II, also apply to their emotions when dating and in early stage relationships.
The problem is not the relationship or the intimacy. Sex tends to increase one's level of emotional involvement and intensity of feelings, especially for women.
Much of the focus will be on special love relationships, but the ideas apply to all our relationships.
Many of them can grow into special love relationships too.
Codependency originated as a term to describe the spouse of an alcoholic -- someone who enables an addict by covering up for her at work or with family after a drunken episode, says Avrum Geurin Weiss, Ph.
Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but assuming that we would not want our emotional and mental well-being to hinge on a miracle, is it worth the risk?
But this is not what the recovering addict is thinking about.
They also may stay in unhappy relationships out of fear of being rejected or abandoned.
A person who is codependent may be afraid to express his own thoughts, feelings and needs out of fear of rejection, says Lancer.