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You will be expected to learn Punjabi/ Hindi/ Gujarati within a week, ok? Buy bigger trousers and prepare to pile on the gulab jamun pounds. You will be expected to eat until you can no longer breathe. The staples of an Indian diet are salt, oil and sugar, aka deep fried diabetes. Same goes for all the uncle-jis in our life – they’re just a random older relative. Wait, what do you mean they’re not really your aunty?! Yes, we all have at least one relative called Pinky, and what? They all can speak fluent English, punctuated with Indian swear words... Tricky and dangerous at the same time, here are 20 things you must know about dating an Indian man. The looks: When it comes to Indian men, it is hard to differentiate between a glance and a venereal stare. The wooing: Can someone please correct the definition of wooing for these men?What's more, their eyes are talented enough to scan a female body within microseconds. Just for the record, wooing does not involve cat-calling, ‘that’ creepy smile or talking in a way that makes it so obvious that our breasts are all that's on your mind! The not-to-smooth moves: We wish Indian men would buy themselves Dating for Dummies already!

We have that Say no more if you have an ex you want to mess with or parents who recently cut you off; we’ll take care of it.

Practice downing pints in preparation for meeting our Dads.

Indians also have a tendency to enjoy a whisky – or ten.

To make the point that Truly Madly features verified profiles, the ad offers a comedic twist on a traditional Qawwali musical face-off between two women and their entourages.

The film is the first project of Vigyapanti, comedy group AIB's advertising wing.

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