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And I know this seems tedious because you might message 10 chicks and only get 1 response back but it matters, and it’s probably what got the 1 chick. But seriously, I know this seems obvious and straightforward but I can’t express how important this is…even if by the end, you’re still only messaging because you think she’s a babe. If you’re not reading it for you, you’re still reading it for her. This should be the easiest thing in the world, but I can’t tell you how many people have written to me in French when it clearly states that I don’t speak French (apologetically) on my profile. smart, funny, etc.) BUT BE WARNED NEVER compliment a girl on something you can’t back up from her profile. No chick wants to hear that you love her in a first message. And the same goes for anything mushy, poetic, artsy, creative (unless funny) or that shows you wearing your delusional heart on your sleeve. So settle down, send a calm message, and hope for the best. of yours, do not give her a list of your latest accomplishments, a copy of your CV and the entire menu of your last night’s meal. The truth is, the first message is more about expressing your interest in her. But the truth is, girls assume if you’re contacting her you think she’s attractive so it’s best to stick to compliments about something they said in their profile (or what you gathered about their personality ie. Don’t talk about how she seems super fun and upbeat if all her pictures are posed and straightfaced and her profile is laced with emo references and Twilight slang, etc. Keep it short, keep it simple, do not go over the top. I don’t know what romantic comedies lead you boys astray but come on. While it’s okay to mention a quality/characterisitc/hobby/skill/interest/etc.

An online dating message is not the same (thank GOD) as a job application.

”, “who do you think would win in a fight JBJ or Sambora? ” By stating and then asking, you’re showing her a bit about yourself (and how you two have something in common) and asking her a question, thus giving her an easy way to respond back to you (and taking all the pressure off). You don’t need to split atoms, but try not to split infinitives either. Assuming you’ve done steps 1-4 this should be a breeze.

The best possible scenario is if you can say something about it like “I’ve been rocking out to Bon Jovi since my dad gave me my first tape of them when I was 8 [true story btw]” and then ask a question like “what’s your fave song? Assuming you weren’t able to parlay whatever you mentioned about her profile into a question, now’s the time to ask her something. At least that way if she deems you cute it gives her something to respond back to with ease. Nothing makes you look stupider than simple spelling errors and not knowing the difference between your and you’re.

If you’re a risk taker you can compliment her hair which goes over amazing about 50% of the time…but has also been known to completely bomb. Eyes and smile (not mouth or lips) are okay and if you really feel compelled you can use words like beautiful or stunning (which I get all the time, and I guess it goes over well, at the very least it doesn’t work against). The truth is, girls are smarter than you’re giving us credit for. And even if we would’ve given you a chance, we likely won’t now since your lazy message tells us you think we aren’t worth it. The same thing goes for saying anything that demonstrates you didn’t do step 1 above.

So now that you know how to make it work, let’s have a look at a few things you’ll want to be weary of. For the love of god don’t say curvy, sexy, hot, tits, ass, hips, legs, or anything in this realm.

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