Dating should be fun, even if a little exhausting at times. You know yourself better than you did at 30, but you have less patience for the endless BS -- and it is endless -- and it's difficult to find someone with whom you want to spend however much time you have left.
You'll never make it with them because you don't have what they're looking for. It is amazing that even "mature" adults repeat the mistakes of the past. The number of people, men and women, who cite fundamental differences when assessing the reason for a failed marriage, has amazed me. The answer may be loneliness, and the inability to cope with it. They need someone to tell them what to wear, when to get a haircut, or buy new underwear. A man's appearance can make the statement that he respects himself. The symptoms of menopause can result from these changing hormone levels.
You appear to want decisive guys who can take charge and be assertive. Earlier on Huff/Post50: After what may be decades of commitment and teamwork in a marriage, couples often reach a point when they stop viewing sex as a necessity in a relationship now built upon the strong tenets of trust, friendship and love.
But when that crosses the line into controlling behavior, it is always a bad thing. A lack of sex in a marriage, however, can turn couples into buddies or quasi-roommates and make that special spark even harder to ignite.
I didn't have very much fun at it, which is depressing since I didn't pair up until my 30s.
Besides, so much luck was involved in my finding my match that there are probably more alternate universes where I'm still living solo than where I'm married.